On this Memorial Day I want to take this opportunity to pay tribute to all the men and women who served and continue to serve our country, including my late father who served in the United States Navy.

He passed away on August 7th 2014 and was given a beautiful military ceremony led by my cousin, Steve LaVoye, retired Colonel in the United States Air Force. The playing of “Taps” A rifle detail with uniformed service members and my cousin Steve presenting the burial flag to my mom. 

My dad was proud of the time he served. His Navy stories usually started with “Back in Morocco …” from the time he was stationed there. 

Growing up in New England playing hockey, my dad and I spent every weekend in the winters traveling together to my various hockey tournaments, listening to Hartford Whalers’ games on the radio as we trekked across New England.

Over the years he would tell me stories of those times he was deployed overseas. Never really going into too much detail about missions per say, but would leverage tactics he used during his time training in the Navy to offer advice I could apply to hockey, but as I’ve learned over the years they are really lessons I’ve applied in life.

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He was always trying to get me to think differently when all I really wanted to do was conform. As kids we often get stubborn and think we have all the answers especially when it comes to our parents.

There are many, but here are two of my favorites. Again, they are hockey related but as I’ve reflected back on them and began applying them to my life over the years, the more they’ve helped me move towards my goals.

#1 Change Your Perspective

One day during the summer before my junior year, my dad came home from work with hockey training video tapes for Goaltenders to watch. I said dad, I don’t understand, I play Center (which is a forward/offense position). Shouldn’t I be watching videos for forwards on how to score and pass? He told me that I’m already getting great instruction in that department from my high school coaches and off-season camps. 

“These tapes will help you think like a goaltender so that when you have a breakaway or find yourself scrambling for the puck in front of the net, you’ll know what the goaltender’s tendencies and reactions will be. If you learn how goalies read and react to the offense, you’ll be one move ahead of them.” Sure enough I watched the tapes and it taught me which way the goaltender should position themselves in the various spots during the game and what angles they try to take away from forwards when they’re on the attack. 

To say he was right would be an understatement. Not only did it give me an advantage over the opposing goaltenders, it gave me confidence going into any game, regardless of any hype or reputation the goaltender had as being elite. I went from 13 goals as a sophomore to 25 as a junior and 40 as a senior. I’m sure I left some goals on the table (or on the ice) as well as there were other opportunities where I may have outsmarted the goaltender and fired the puck wide or shot the puck into the goalie.

#2 Visualization

In the late 80’s there was a new technique gaining popularity developed by sports psychologists called visualization. Visualization by their definition is mentally performing the precise motor skill movements mentally before you perform them physically.

Greg Gibson, a Neuro-Linguistic Programming Trainer used golfers as an example when this was first introduced in the late 80’s. Just before they swing they imagine the perfect swing. In a sense, this gives their mind a map of the order in which they would like the neuro-transmitters to fire off the various muscular contractions. Note however, that once a golfer begins the swing he no longer uses this technique. Visualization is only a pre-execution technique. The actual motor skill movement must be learned through repetition.

Based on this information, my dad suggested I take the last 5-10 minutes before l left the locker room to visualize the flow of the game, making the right pass at the right time or shooting the puck with accuracy to the back of the goal.

And so I did. I would also do this while practicing by myself in our basement. Over and over I would pass the practice pucks off our concrete basement walls to myself and fire one-times to the back of the net, all while visualizing scoring the game winning goal to lead our team to victory. 

This technique paid off in a lot of games and situations but none bigger than two State Championship games when I was 12 and 14. When I was 12 I scored the game-winning goal in a 6-0 win (which was less dramatic than the one I scored when I was 14, when I scored on a one-timer in overtime to beat a team we were 0-2-1 against during the regular season to win the State Championship. I remember falling asleep the night before in our hotel room watching WWF’s Saturday Night’s Main Event visualizing scoring in a big spot, but could not have scripted it if I tried. 

Here it is!

So grateful my father captured it on video. That’s him in the background saying “My son” … He had to hold his excitement as he was sitting with his co-worker, who’s son played on the opposing team.

I didn’t really connect the dots and truly appreciate this advice until recently, now that I am more aware and in-tune with the power of the mind. I’m proud and grateful for the life lessons my dad has passed on to me that I continue to pass on to my kids.

Set goals and every day take small and consistent incremental actions in the direction of those goals and you will move closer and closer to making those goals a reality.

Thanks again to all those who serve(d), especially my father, not only for his service, but for his love, support and wisdom!

Be well and stay safe!

Godspeed! 🤙🏻
Joey Bonfiglio